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Addiction & Mind


Posted by: Michael

Reading time: 3 minutes

Someone who has a victim mindset believes they must trudge through a life that is harder than anyone else’s life. They are constantly being hurt, disrespected, ignored, ridiculed, or sabotaged by others. People with a victim mindset tend to fixate on certain aspects of the story, and avoid details that conflict. They can twist their tales of woe into partial truths, or full blown delusion.

Breaking through delusion is hard because it becomes a completely normal way of life. Some people go through their entire lives feeling hard-done-by, short-changed, or persecuted because they believe the details that prove it. But is it actually true? Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.  When the hurt has actually happened, we must learn to deal with it, then let it go and move on. The victim mindset has many behavioural indicators that suggest people are not dealing and letting go, but rather are stuck hard in delusion. See if any of these look familiar.

1. They argue a lot. To get people on their side. To justify their outrage.

2. They are never to blame for anything. There is always someone else that made the mistake.

3. They carry resentments or grudges for many years.

4. They break off contact with others. They shun people.

5. They never ask anyone for help. They will complain about struggles and strife until someone offers to help them.

6. They are not confident, although they give an appearance as though they are.

7. They do not share what they are actually thinking or feeling. They don’t trust others.

8. They compare themselves to others in every way. They feel inferior to people that have more, and superior to those who have less.

9. They focus on what they don’t have, on what is wrong, or what doesn’t work.

10. They are afraid to make mistakes.

11. They think that their life is harder than everyone else’s life, and no would understand.

To anyone that feels they are stuck, or has nagging thoughts that things should not be the way they are, we want you to know that it is possible to change from a victim mindset. To know how to do this, the short answer is to do the opposite of everything on the list. The long answer is that changing entrenched behavioural patterns can take a lot of effort, and a lot of time. You will need patience with yourself. You must also understand that change is possible, it is inevitable, and is nothing to fear.

Michael is the Lead Sobriety Coach and Head Blogger of Addiction Reality.